Fear of Judgement

The importance of living an honest life

Fear of Judgement 

I clearly remember being a child and caring so little about what people thought of me. It was only when I turned 10 or so that my perspective shifted. It was around this time that I started to care about the opinions of others . This is when I fundamentally changed as a person.

I started acting the way I thought people wanted me to act. I started dressing the way I thought people wanted me to dress. Simply put, I just wanted to fit in, and I believed that fitting in meant acting a certain way. 

Popular girls, either in real life or in movies, became my source of inspiration. They seemed to capture everyone’s attention. Everyone appeared to like them and that was the epitome of what it meant to ‘fit in’ in my eyes. I started to act, dress and behave the way they did.

Now, every teenager goes through this experimental stage and it is a crucial step toward developing your identity. The problem with copying, however, is that you are not being true to who you are.

I remember being a part of the ‘popular group’ for a period of time. I was accused of being fake by them – which was true, I did not fit in with them no matter how hard I tried. I actually remember vividly never being invited to their private gatherings and after one year of sitting with them, I was finally invited to one. The party sucked, by the way. To put it into perspective, I eventually got new friends and was invited to a party within a couple of weeks of sitting with them.

What struck me the most was the perspective from the ‘outsiders’ (my new group of friends) who said they thought I was just another stuck-up, vapid princess. 

This was a lightbulb moment for me… the popular girls weren’t actually so ‘popular’ after all. 

I endured sitting with these people for over a year because I thought everyone liked them, only to find out no one actually liked them. 

I pretended to be like them because I thought that’s how you fit in, and I still didn’t fit in.

I realised throughout this period of experimentation that people will judge you no matter what. So, you may as well be true to who you are. Being honest and authentic also helps you attract your tribe. You do not have to pretend to be anything around them because they like you for who you are. This is unbelievably freeing.

There is a lot of meaning that comes from living an honest life. You follow a path that feels right to you – one that provides your life with purpose and joy. You can look in the mirror and be proud of who you are, knowing you are living your truth. Most importantly, you can respect yourself. And if people judge you, it doesn’t bother you nearly as much as it would if you were lying. For if you are lying, it only hurts you in the end. 

My father raised me to not care about people’s judgements of me because at the end of the day, judgement will always exist. There is nothing you or I can do about people having opinions, both positive and negative, about us. So, you may as well be true to who you are. 

I can tell you right now, it is much easier looking in the mirror knowing you are living an honest life. 

Life is much easier when you are surrounded by people who genuinely love and believe in you for who you are. 

So, even when it feels like everything is falling down around you, at least you know one thing, you are living an honest life. Even if no-one else has your back, you have your own.

The fruits that come from a tree watered with honesty and integrity are much sweeter than the ones grown from lies and deception.

As always, please touch some grass today.