My Turbulent Relationship With Social Media

I’ve lost count of the amount of times social media has made me cry. Made me laugh. Made me feel hopeless, unsuccessful and unworthy.

The amount of times I have seen the question: ‘Deactivate your account?’ appear on my screen. 

The amount of times it’s given me a drug-like rush.

I keep coming back perhaps, in part, because I’m addicted… 

but also because I feel a strong urge to build something. 

To create – because if I am honest with you, that’s all I have ever wanted to do. 

Move people, heal people, help people.

And while I do believe that social media provides an opportunity to do those things, I can’t turn a blind eye to the very real, damaging effects it can have on an individual's wellbeing. And neither should you.

I told myself if I continue using social media, I will use it, as opposed to it using me.

A quote by Denzel Washington I often refer to is:

“you use the tool, the tool doesn’t use you”.

Social media was deliberately built to keep you addicted. To keep you hooked by using gambling methods.

If you’re using social media, you need to know this. 

Why? 

So you don’t fall for the addictive, narcissistic pitfalls that exist within the little brightly-coloured app on your screen. 

So you know that most of what you see and how it affects you is designed to make you feel that way, and to make you want more of it… even if it makes you feel awful.

Anyone who says they wouldn’t or won’t fall prey to the addictive, narcissistic qualities of social media are lying to themselves. 

Often these people already have the needle in the arm, but choose to lie to themselves because the truth is too hard to admit.

You must become brutally aware of your ego.

You must understand the deep desire most of us have to be admired.

To be loved. To be understood. 

You must also become brutally aware of the fact social media is very addictive. 

The fact it feeds off your insecurities like a leech.

And if you’re not honest with yourself, it can even understand you better than you understand yourself.

This is why it is crucial to ask yourself these questions:

“Do I post for attention? For a dopamine hit? For instant gratification?”

“Or, do I post because it helps people?

Because it gives me a creative outlet?”

“Do I use social media mindlessly? To live vicariously? To procrastinate?”

“Or do I use social media because it helps me learn & grow? Because it connects me with like-minded individuals?”

You must create boundaries around social media in order to use it, as opposed to it using you.

Be honest with yourself. 

Be honest about the reality of social media.

Understand it’s not going anywhere, so ask yourself how you can use it productively,  as opposed to posting selfies or living vicariously.

Don’t fall into the trap, because you can & will if you continue to lie to yourself.

As always, please go outside, find a patch of grass and touch it.

AbbieJean