we are verbs, not nouns

the dreaded question of 'what do you do for a living?"

Oscar Wilde once said “If you know what you want to be, then you inevitably become it – that is your punishment, but if you never know, then you can be anything. There is a truth to that. We are not nouns, we are verbs. I am not a thing – an actor, a writer – I am a person who does things – I write, I act – and I never know what I am going to do next. I think you can be imprisoned if you think of yourself as a noun.”

This quote perfectly captures why I’ve never felt too giddy about being asked what I do for a living. Not because I don’t have an answer, but because I don’t want to be put in a box. I am not a noun, but a verb. I am much more than a singular label.

As Wilde says, to think of yourself as a noun (to label yourself) is to imprison yourself. In this way we are limiting our potential for growth, and from experiencing the richness of life.

I don’t want to think of myself as a noun. I don’t want to be simplified. I am multifaceted and complex. I write, sing, dance, learn, read, sketch, film, act, create, teach, study, build, admire, cook, nurture, and much more.

I love and do too many things to be boxed into one category.

Now I know many people are content saying how they earn a living without the need to elaborate, and that’s absolutely fine.

But for some reason, I feel the walls closing in on me when I’m asked this question. I feel the pressure to choose one specific thing — and truthfully, I can’t. And after many years of feeling ashamed about my inability to give a singular answer, I no longer feel bad about it.

As humans, we have a tendency to label everything. Yet labelling often poorly defines who we are. Worst of all, we feel as though we need to label ourselves in order to help people understand who we are – at least I know I have. But labels are the small talk of learning about someone… and I despise small talk.

I am not interested in your job, where you live and what you do in your spare time. I want to hear about what makes your heart radiate with passion. What makes you cry tears of joy. I want to hear about the adventures you’ve had and the stories that have changed your life, or the love that was so great it helped heal your broken heart.

It’s sad to me, really… that we have resorted to such superficial labels in order to make sense of one another; and yet, it doesn’t work. These labels do not capture the depth and complexity of anther person’s soul and spirit.

I do not want to box myself in by choosing one job or one activity/hobby, because from here on out you will associate my name with the answer I’ve provided.

Also, what if six months from now I am studying medicine or painting or writing or waitering?

Simply put, I do not want to lock myself into my current reality and throw away the key for a new potential future.

I have multiple skills, talents, jobs, interests, and most importantly, a fierce love for living my life as much as possible; and I fear that love would fade if I started thinking of myself as a noun.

Now, I am not sure if it would be appropriate to quote Oscar Wilde word-for-word the next time someone asks me what I do for a living. I can only imagine their narrowed and confused eyes, followed up with a prolonged ‘o-o-o-k’. I would probably seem a bit deranged to the point they never ask me that questions again… actually, come to think of it, this may be a brilliant idea!

As always, please touch some luscious green grass hair today.

AbbieJean