What purpose do our dreams serve?

dreams vs reality vs dreams becoming reality

Dreams.

What are they exactly?

I always believed they were just a fake world, one which I could escape to and forget about the real world. Most of us daydream from time to time. Perhaps not as much as we did as children, but it still happens. You may be sitting on a train, listening to music and staring out the window when you begin to slip away into your dream world. Personally, I find myself in some European city, dancing freely in a tavern where live music fills the room. More often than not, I am in a foreign country creating new experiences – reading, writing, painting, singing, cooking, connecting with strangers. In my dream world, I am always falling more and more in love with life. I am creating a reality that I crave. It is only due to an unwelcome jolt of the carriage that I find myself back on a train, staring outside the window

Crap. Welcome back to the real world.

You know, I could allow myself to enjoy the dream world for what it is – a form of occasional escapism. But alas, I have been blessed with the undying need to analyse everything.

What purpose do these dreams serve? 

One answer that comes to mind is self-soothing. As a teenager, I used to daydream about being a famous actress or musician because I felt isolated and ignored in school. The idea of being famous felt like the pinnacle of being loved and adored, and that’s all I craved as a teenage girl. I dreamt of being rich enough to get on a jet plane and travel whenever I pleased, especially after a bad day. It was definitely a form of self-soothing through escapism. I didn’t like my reality, so I created a new one.

Did I actually want to be a famous Hollywood actress? Or did I just want to be liked? I’d argue the latter, but there was still a truth buried within that dream that needed to be excavated. A truth that revealed the type of life I wanted for myself. One that consisted of freedom, creation, and adventure. One that allowed me to explore my deep love for life – for beauty.

I believe our dreams are trying to show us our ideal reality. The reality we yearn to live. The reality where we are fulfilled with who we are and what we do. Yet many of us have severed the relationship between ‘dream’ and ‘reality’ and believe they can’t exist simultaneously. We hear phrases such as “you need to be realistic” repeated to us by our teachers, parents, colleagues and friends. It’s almost a rite of passage once you become an adult to be sat down and lectured about the reality of life and the fantasy that is your dreams. And you, being a so-called naive young adult, believe the older generations because they’re wiser and more logical than us. Right?

But what if these older generations only tell you to be realistic because that’s what they were told? What if they tell you to be realistic because they’re projecting their reality onto you? Oftentimes, people will tell you to “be realistic” because they stopped believing in their own dreams. And so, in order to make themselves feel better about giving up, they tell you to give up as well. It seems like the logical thing to do, especially when they tell you that most people “don’t make it” – which holds some truth. They say this because they love you and care about you, and don’t want to see you disappointed. But underneath all those mushy words lies a generational goblin who laughs at you every time you dare to dream, knocking down your self-confidence and self-belief little by little. The saddest part is that the pesky goblin almost always gets through.

But what about when it doesn’t? What about when someone tells that goblin to bugger off and persists with turning that dream into a reality? Well, we’ve seen it so many times. In fact, all you have to do is look around you. Planes, cars, electricity, telecommunication, cameras, computers. Musicians, writers and painters who can live off their deep love for creating. There are so many examples of people who believed in their dreams, and made them a reality. So why can’t you?

All dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may seem, are rooted in reality. 

But why daydream about a new reality when you can live it? 

Personally, I want to start using my dreams as a source of inspiration, not a source of escapism. I want to shift my focus from escaping to creating. I do not wish to live in a dream that only exists in my mind. I want to bring that dream into my reality so I can truly experience it with all of my senses. I wish to smell the Mediterranean Sea, taste the freshly made pasta, listen to the street musicians serenading strangers and feel the tears roll down my cheeks after seeing one of Monet’s paintings.

I want to marry the two words (dream and reality) so they can live happily ever after.

There is a reason why we dream. We yearn for a life that we are proud of. One in which we are fulfilled mind, body and soul. It’s all possible. 

Nothing is unrealistic. Unless you want to become a unicorn – but even then with virtual reality, who knows!

Until next time.