experiencing magic as an adult

you didn't lose your imagination, you just became an adult

I have this distinct memory from when I was around twelve years old sitting in the backyard of someone’s home. I can’t remember if it was a neighbour, or one of my parent’s friends but the garden had this magical vibe to it. Whilst it was buzzing with conversation, there was a distinct quietness to it. A stillness resting amongst the chaos. It was almost as if the garden was a gateway to another realm.

I remember sitting alone on a white concrete bench, watching how the sunlight trickled down and made everything sparkle. There were soft pink roses, daisies and lavender bushes that added a subtle touch of colour to the otherwise green landscape. I remember the sound of buzzing bees and the gentle cascade of a fountain in a small pond. Down a small pebbled path was a white gazebo with intricate floral carvings along its fascia, and ivy that climbed up the wooden posts and decorated the roof. Everything softly glowed in such a way that it made me feel sleepy. If someone told me I was dreaming, I wouldn’t have been surprised.

The reason I question my lucidity is because in that moment, I genuinely believed in magic. In my mind, I was a beautiful princess with long, luscious locks who could call upon animals like Aurora from Sleeping Beauty. I could see pixie fairies dancing through the streaks of sunlight, casting shadows of their tiny winged figures. My voice was a vessel for love and light, and I used it to summon the birds and the bees.

Truly, if there was heaven on earth, this garden was it. It felt like pure light. As if darkness had never touched it. As if darkness couldn’t touch it. Perhaps this was my brain playing tricks on me, but even if that were true, so what? I could have stayed in that garden for an eternity and it would have felt like a minute. Isn’t that what heaven is? Complete and utter serenity? I’m not sure, I guess one can hope.

Either way, in that moment, I truly understood the power of my imagination. It was as though anything was possible. Even if we can’t turn into magical creatures who possess powers that can summon the wind or the birds and bees, why can’t we imagine it to be so? The sad truth of this story is that I haven’t revisited such serenity again. Sure, I’ve experienced glimpses of it in my adult form, but it wasn’t as real as it was when I was younger. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me feel a little disappointed.

Why is it that we lose this vivid imagination as we age? And is it possible that we can find it again?

Surely it starts with belief. When we are young, there is a large part of us that believes anything is possible because we still have so much to learn about life. Anything truly is possible! Our imagination can go wild creating potential stories that will reveal themselves later in life. For example, one of our parents sitting us down and telling us about some secret magical power that our bloodline carries and how when we turn 16, they must teach us how to control this power or else we will endanger not only ourselves but those we love. Surely that wasn’t only me – teehee.

Anyway, the point is, we had no idea what the future had in store for us, so our imagination could run rampant with ideas. And we partly believed in these made up stories because we were hopeful – and maybe a wee bit naive. I suppose as we age, we develop that fun thing called ‘logic’ or whatever, and that tends to remind us that magic isn’t real. But it doesn’t tell us to stop using our imagination, and it certainly doesn’t tell us that magic doesn’t exist – within reason, of course.

So, what must one do in order to believe in magic again?

I suppose that’s the question I am asking myself, really. I suppose that’s also why I decided to create this series pertaining to my musings of being a sensitive gorl. To tell the tales of my everyday life in the hopes that I can meet other sensitive souls, or at least meet individuals who are ready to embrace their magic again – the magic of sensitivity.

We may not be able to revive the innocence of our childhood imagination again, but magic can still be experienced.

In order to experience magic, one must believe in the power of their imagination again. This means taking the time to step away from all distractions. Sit alone with your thoughts in a beautiful place – one that inspires curiosity. Start to play with the images in your mind again. Look at the forest and consider all the living creatures that inhabit it, real or fantasy. There are no boundaries with your imagination, so have fun!

I find in this moment, our logical brain can fight against our imaginative brain, especially if we’ve stopped exercising it. It may take some time, but eventually the images will become so vivid and clear that you start to believe in them again.

It’s at this point that being a sensitive individual is advantageous. The ability to have a heightened sensory experience means that once we embrace our imagination again, we can truly begin to shift how we see, feel, hear, smell, touch and taste. You enter a new dimension where you begin to see how magical this earth is.

How the sun’s rays glow as they form strokes through the leaves. How still water looks like glass. How trees blowing in the wind look like they’re waving in slow motion.

Experiencing magic again is all about breaking out of mental patterns and routines. It’s also about seeing the magic that exists within this realm – within nature. It’s about embracing the richness of your experience by tuning into your senses, one by one.

What can you smell? What can you see? What can you hear?

You will soon realise that magic still exists, just as it did in that garden when I was a child. Because that garden was very real – I was simply observing the beauty of this earth through my senses, and combining it with my imagination. That’s what made it magical. And that is within our grasp, even as adults.